Eight in the morning, coffee ready and steaming. It's her birthday! This tiny human, who managed to change my life in the best possible way, has turned four. I never thought time would pass so fast, but it did. She seems so big, and I am left wondering how it will feel when this little girl will not be as little anymore. I can't imagine her as a full-grown adult, but I have no doubt she will be amazing, smart, and independent.
I dreamed of her coming to my life for more than a decade. People around me kept having children, and I went home to cry in silence. I kept asking: why me? I now know the answer: I had been waiting for her. Not for another child, for her, for Lorelai, the wonder. After a difficult pregnancy, I gave birth to her on a June afternoon, while talking to Tabitha, a Polish midwife who ended up telling me almost all of her life. Her first cry was the sound I have been waiting for, as it confirmed that my dream had come true. I had my baby girl!
Ask any mother and she will tell you that the first years of motherhood are filled with so many changes. We are tired and confused, but we always summon the strength to love and care for our babies. On a deeper level, however, motherhood brings a permanent change in who we are. In having her, I stopped caring what others think, and followed my own path. That led to a series of wonderful changes!
I watched her grow from a baby into a toddler and then into a little girl. We spent hours cuddled and sharing beautiful moments, and at times, I felt motherhood was intoxicating. Suddenly, all I wanted to was to be near her, to kiss and hold her. I loved seeing her achieve new milestones, and I must have taken thousands of photographs. That is the thing with motherhood: you want your child to grow up, wishing she would stay little for just a bit more.
Two of my books are dedicated to her, "my inspiration in life". She may be a little girl, but she has taught me so much. I look at her and I understand how important it is to never give up. This tiny human always goes for what she wants, and she always has confidence in herself. Thanks to her, I fight to be the same, and it shows. In these years, I have started my writing journey and it was amazing in every way.
Happy birthday, Lorelai! Since you have been born, I've learned it is not a bad thing to celebrate a simple life. We have gathered wonderful memories and I look forward to many more! As the years will go by, all I ask is that you let me be both your mother and your friend. You are my dream come true, my wonder, my reason for waking up every day and daring to try new things. May this next year be even more amazing than the previous ones!